The Court Chronicles (A Blog Novella) - Chapter 5

Check out Chapters 1, 2, 3 and 4.

And now, chapter 5...

Did I just admit that I was a total dick to an old girlfriend AND call myself a puto all in the same breath? Well, at least she's still here, but get a hold of yourself, dude. This date got kicked off just right, a bitter ex and a tampon tale, who could ask for more? Whatever, at least she was cool with me suggesting some place else and it was really cool of her to tell that story to make me feel better. It's not that I'm embarrassed, because I don't get embarrassed, it's just that you want to make the best impression on the first date. I'm not saying be someone you're obviously not, but just be real and hold some things back, like how much of a jerk you were to a girl.

"I think your breath is fresh enough," Veronica says.

"What?"

I look down and realize that I'm popping mints like crazy. I have like 3 left from a 30 count box.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a little obsessed with mints."

"I can tell." She flashes me a smile that should be illegal and I think might be in 34 states. I can't help but smile back and share this extremely cheesy moment with her.

"Hey guey, here's your ride, eh."

I turn around and see a Hispanic man standing by the door of my truck. Did he just call me "guey"? What kind of valet service is this? I don't care and although I would usually say something, this is neither the time nor the place.

I turn to Veronica, "Did you valet as well?"

"No, I'm, parked right over there." She points about 50 yards away.

"Oh, I can give you a ride to your car, hop in." I open the passenger door of my truck and make sure she's fully in before I close the door. I come around the other side and find the Hispanic man, with the Jaime badge on his vest, holding my door open. I slide him a 5 spot and get into my truck. Jaime proceeds to rest his elbow on my window frame and says, "You should get some 20s for your ride, mang. I have a tio that can hook it up."

"Um, no thanks, but have a good night."

I pull off in the direction of Veronica's car and I can hear her laughing.

"What's so funny?"

She looks at me, "Seriously, you can't find the humor in that whole exchange with the valet?"

"Of course I can, but I think it's more sad than anything, but you know what, if he feels comfortable enough with his clients to address them in that manner, then more power to him."

Veronica just kept laughing. We pull up to her car and she opens her door.

"So how do I get to this place?"

"Just follow me," I say with confidence.

She smiles, "Okay."

We jump on the 405 north and surprise, surprise there's traffic. I activate the bluetooth in my truck and call Veronica. "Hello?" she answers and fills my truck with her voice. I turn the volume down a little bit.

"Hey, sorry about this traffic," I apologize.

"No worries, it's the 405, there's traffic at 3 am."

We share a laugh, but the fact is that she's right. This damn freeway is the bain of my existence.

I try to make it better by switching subjects, "Have you ever been night golfing?"

"No, but I've been wanting to try it. It seems like a lot of fun."

"Oh, it is and we can share my clubs if it's alright with you."

"That won't be necessary, I have mine in the trunk," she says.

Now I can't say that I'm not impressed and that Veronica just gets more and more awesome. There has to be a catch though. Maybe she has 6 toes or webbed feet or something.

I attempt to make a joke, "Ah, the old keep my clubs in the trunk in case a date decides to go night golfing trick?"

"Get smart," she replies.

This girl is getting all my references and it's kind of hot. "Now the real question, old school Get Smart or the Steve Carell movie remake?"

Without hesitation she replies, "Old school of course."

This woman knows her stuff.

After way too long on the 405, we finally arrive at the golf course. It's a cool little place in the Valley with an executive course which has 9 holes and a couple of par 4's and a full 18 hole par 3 course. I thought it would be fun to do the back 9 of the par 3 and that's pretty much all we would have time for anyway. I often come out here to do some driving and release some stress. I always want to play the course at night, but can rarely find anyone to come with me. Jay came out once and I beat him pretty bad. I think he was more frustrated that he wasn't very good at golf because he's good at a lot of things. He hasn't been back since, what a wuss.

I pull into a nice spot and Veronica pulls in right next to me. I meet her at her door and help her out.

"So you gonna feed me first, Garret?"

"Of course I am, there's a cool spot down the street if you don't mind walking a little ways."

She shakes her head and says, "A little walking never hurt anybody."

We make our way to the roach coach with the neon green "Tacos" sign shining brightly. Veronica pauses and gives me a look.

"I vouch for this place, trust me," I reassure her.

"Okay," she says skeptically.

I ran across this taco place back in college in much crazier times. My roommates and I decided it would be fun to go around town and take bus stop bench adverts. We ended up taking about 6 different bus bench billboards. Everything from Janet Jackson's new album at the time to A Knight's Tale. What were we going to do with these 6 adverts? Nothing. We had no plan past acquiring them. Anyway, we came across this little roach coach and decided to give it a try. It was nothing short of awesomeness and Martha, she owns the coach, has been taking care of me ever since.

We walk up to the order area and Martha greets me, "¿Hola, mijo, como estas?"

"¿Muy bien, Martha, que tal?"

"Aqui, tratando de sobrevivir," she responds.

Martha's catering truck has taken a hit like everything else in this economy, but she has a loyal customer base and she's never raised prices on us. Martha's like a second mom to me and even when I didn't have any money to pay her, she would still feed me. Martha is cool peoples.

"Is she your friend?" Martha asks in broken English.

I totally forgot to introduce Veronica, "Yes, sorry, Martha, Veronica. Veronica, Martha."

"Pleased to meet you," says Veronica as she extends her hand towards Martha.

Martha shakes Veronica's hand and says, "You take cuidado of my hijo here, okay?"

Veronica nods her head and smiles at me.

"Do you like horchata, Veronica?" I ask

"Who doesn't?"

Awesome, so I order us 3 tacos each and an horchata for each of us. I was very impressed by the fact that Veronica didn't try and hide the fact that she was starving. She put it down on these tacos and tore up her horchata. I think we finished about the same time. We dumped our trash and I turn to Veronica, "Time to kick your butt at some golf."

"Whatever, dude, you don't even know," she says.

"I'll see you later, Martha!" I wave at her and she waves back and says, "Adios, y dile a Jay que me debe diez dolares."

I laugh, "Okay, I will."

We get back to the cars and I open my liftgate remotely and pull out my clubs. I close my liftgate and join Veronica at her trunk. She opens the trunk,

"What the..." we both say in unison.