Cud-dle [kuhd-l] 1. to lie close and snug; nestle.

For those of you checking in for the next installment of The Court Chronicles...sorry. Garret and Veronica will be back next week with all new shenanigans. I know, go ahead and start hurling tomatoes.....NOW! I'll even start you off with one.

This post is about cuddling and how ridiculous I think it is. Now, women, hear me out. I'm not an insensitive prick as some of you may think. I'm all for showing affection and whatnot, but I have to draw the line at cuddling or as some douchebags call it, "canoodling". Man, that word is annoying! I also enjoyed Urban Dictionary's definition of "canoodling" -

The act of enjoying anothers company by getting close to them. This generally takes place on a couch and activities include but are not limited to: whispering, giggling, hot gossip, pillow talk, and squeezies. It IS socially acceptable to canoodle in areas with others, to a minimal degree, even when some believe it is not. Pillows and blankets are usually associated with canoodling as well. Some restrictions apply, results may vary.

Hey did you see Jon and his secret biddy canoodling last night?

That can sound all sweet and god knows women love to do it, but I have to stand up for my fellas and say what some of them don't have the balls to say--

Get Off Me!

Yes, I care about you and all that, but you don't have to be up under me to prove you do too. Plus it's H-O-T man! Sources (don't ask me which) say that men's bodies are generally 15 degrees warmer than a woman's. So yes, we're already hot and you snuggling up under me makes it worse. I don't want to sweat, I want to watch the movie...or sleep!

"But, Ike, shouldn't you compromise?" Sure, here's my compromise: we can hug and be affectionate and all that, but cuddling is out of the question. "Isn't hugging and being affectionate cuddling?" No and I'll tell you why: hugging is exactly that, hugging; you're close for a few seconds and then you give eachother space. Cuddling goes on way too long. That's my problem with cuddling...it takes too long and gets too hot!

But for all you cuddle bears out there (::cough:: Inez) keep on keepin' on! More power to ya and keep answering those Hey wanna come over and do nothing but cuddle? text messages. By the way, if you're a dude and you send that text to a woman...(Ike stares for a few seconds and shakes his head).

So have yourselves a nice weekend and cuddle away!